In Tibet free love is common between young men and women and
the most interesting thing is that the parents don't interfere in their child's
will. The girl and the boy start dating secretly. Public gatherings are
considered appropriate occasions for boys to meet girls. After a certain point
of time the boys takes the initiative and tell his decision to his parents.
Proposal
Before communicating his decision for marriage the boys
would collect all the information about the girl like mouse, ox, tiger, rabbit,
dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, chicken, dog or pig. Now he would approach
an astrologer to check if her attributes are compatible with his. If the astrologer
shows a green signal he would go to his parents and tell them about the girl.
If the parents are ready they would approach the girl’s family with gifts which
includes Khatag, chang, Yak Butter Tea. If the girl's parents have no objection
they proceed to the engagement.
Engagement
Both the parties would sit together and decide a day for the
engagement. This ceremony is held at the bride's house. On this pleasant day
the boy has to send Khatag and other gifts to every member of the bride's
family. Parents of the couple are present on the occasion. They would also
exchange gifts. Next they would read the duplicate betrothal contracts and the
other will check them after that. They will then sign the contracts with the
seals of the two families and pass them to both sides. Both the parties would
proceed to a banquet organised by the bride's parents. When the guests leave
they would be presented with Khatag.
Dowry &
Wedding costumes
Before the wedding,
the lady's family will choose an auspicious day to send dowry to the man. A
small steel statue of Bodhisattva, a roll of sutra along with a stupa is send
to the groom’s house. The man's family, on the other hand, has to send a set of
costumes to the lady for her wedding on the wedding eve.
Fetching the bride
A person with good reputation is chosen. He along with a
group of riders are designated the task of fetching the bride.
Gate Decoration
Before the arrival of the bride, the groom would have the
gate decorated and a cushion of barleys laid in front of his house.
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